


Birch Gives Some Serious Wood

by youll_never_guess



Category: Big Mouth (Cartoon)
Genre: F/M, Hand & Finger Kink, Self-Insert, Smut, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:14:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26926423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youll_never_guess/pseuds/youll_never_guess
Summary: Just some Judd Birch smut!
Comments: 1
Kudos: 59





	Birch Gives Some Serious Wood

“I don’t know, I just get some bad vibes from him,” you confided in Leah Birch as she unpacked wine for the post-show theater party. 

She rolled her eyes. “He’s fine! He’s soooo cool I know we’re gonna have some fun tonight…” she trailed off with a suggestive smirk. “How about you? Gonna get some action tonight?” 

You’d considered this yourself but honestly no one you knew really appealed. You’d messed around a little but none of the guys were bold enough to really get you. Maybe you just needed a bad boy to get the engine revving…

[Later that night]

Leah came running down the stairs in hysterics. “I can’t believe he’s a HEAD PUSHER I expected better of him! What a fucking asshole!” she ranted.

“I mean I knew he was off but you couldn’t be bothered to listen,” you mutter under your breath, but Leah still heard.

“How could you?? I need your support right now, not your sass. God! If you can’t be helpful just fucking leave okay?” she yelled. 

You just couldn’t deal with her right now, and stormed out of the house, grabbing a bottle of cotton candy brandy on the way. You flopped into a bench in some deep shadows at the back of the backyard. Taking a swig of the (nauseating) brandy, your eye caught something gleaming in the dark. Several things- eyes? 

You lept from the bench with a yelp, into a solid body you hadn’t sensed near you. You whip around to see a tall, lean yet muscular guy with an undercut frowning down at you. “Eyes,” you huff as an explanation.

He grunts. “Raccoons,” he says as explanation. “I’m training them.”

This leaves you with more questions than answers. “Uh… what?” you fumble for words in the presence of this attractive, confusing man.

“I’m training them as a militia for the next revolution. It’s all explained in the manifesto,” he elaborates. 

“...manifesto?” You barely follow, transfixed by his deep, rough voice. You take another drink of the brandy to steady yourself, and pass it to him. Your hands brush as you give him the bottle, and you notice his hands. Can hands be sexy? Cause his definitely are, with long thin fingers. Your eyes glaze for a second as you briefly consider what he could do with those lovely hands. 

He smirks, sensing that you are flustered. “Yeah, a manifesto. Want to see it?” You would almost swear he was talking about something other than a manifesto, but agree anyways. 

He leads you back into the house, upstairs into a dim bedroom plastered with anarchist posters. You flop on his bed, a little dizzy from the booze. He passes you a printed pamphlet, the cover of which has an anarchist symbol and the name ‘Judd Birch’. 

“Ohhh you’re the mysterious third Birch.” You’d never met him, but had heard intriguing tidbits of information from his family that painted him as quite the troublemaker. 

He’s bothered by this. “Just read the fucking pamphlet. It explains how late stage capitalism is the downfall of democracy due to the privatization of-” 

You’ve heard enough Birches rant tonight. “Omg shut up,” you blurt, surprising yourself.

“Make me,” he growls.

You lean in, kissing him. He lifts his hands to run them through your hair, making you moan as he twists it, pulling it tight. 

He smirks against your mouth, and kisses you harder, pushing you back against the bed. You murmur appreciatively, and wrap your legs around him.

Your breath hitches as he starts to kiss down your throat. You gasp at the cool air as he lifts your shirt off, then go silent as your insides go molten as he expertly handles your breasts. 

After far too long he finally strips down to his briefs, revealing well-built abs and a hefty bulge. He kisses down your stomach, and gently slides off your skirt. You moan as he mouths over your underwear. You’re grateful when he finally pulls them off too and runs a calloused finger along your wet pussy, pausing teasingly at the clit. 

With a practiced mouth he begins to eat you out. As you moan and writhe above him, he begins to gently work you open with his long fingers. You’re close to cumming when he finally lifts his head, crawling over you to kiss you again.

Gently he pulls his dick out and presses it against your entrance. You hold your breath as it pushes in, stretching you uncomfortably tight. He pauses once completely inside, giving you a moment to adjust to his impressive size. 

You give him a brief nod to continue, and he begins to slowly pump into you. You hadn’t known dick could feel so good- it fills you up in a way none of your toys ever have. His fingers tease your clit as he begins to speed up. Your walls begin to tighten around him, squeezing so tight he can hardly move as you cum hard around him. Waves of pleasure roll through you so hard your eyes roll back, and you bite his shoulder to silence a scream.

He kisses you sweetly as he begins to thrust faster and faster into your aching pussy, grunting as he cums in you. He pulls out, and you can feel the cum leaking out of your abused hole. 

“Fuck. That was incredible,” you say, taking a moment to just savor the moment. 

“Damn right it was. You should come read my manifesto again sometime,” he replies with a smirk.


End file.
